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○Word vomit○
Friday, May 15, 2009

Update 4:43pm: Alright, I still succumbed to help that kuku to
walk out of his negativity.
And he agreed on letting me help.
Thank god.

I'M MAD TIRED.

Past few days of insufficient rest accumulated to my current exhaustion.

And as if it's not bad enough, kuku had to preach his preaches of pessimism. Diaoz.

Note, this kuku ain't a close friend of mine. It just that I will try to persuade be it Tom, Dick or Harry. But not lately.

It looks like I'm getting less patient with people who are negative. I used to spend unmeasurable amount time and effort to encourage them into the path of positivity, but now I cannot seem to invest my very limited and precious time on that aspect.

I tend to leave them alone.

And then get angry with myself for leaving them in the lurch.

You see, it's not easy to keep on motivating people. For I've done it more than a dozen times and it is really a taxing task. Many times you have to delegate alot of your attention for that person in order for him or her to be attached to you and tries to seek your guidance ultimately.

Not forgetting you have to step in at the right time, with the right solution, speaking the right words. It is definitely a relieve to help someone, but I guess I'm not so great to not let it eat into my life yet not affected by it. Meaning, I do get depressed there and then, trying to help them.

Which is very contradicting, right? I mean, how are you suppose to help people when you cannot even get yourself settled?

And isn't it very pathetic to get yourself so charred by helping people? It's like curing people to make yourself sick. Or, claiming you wanna help, but ended up complaining at the end of the day? That's very sad right?

Wah at this stage, I made myself sound like an immaculate saint. Which I am not lah... I'm not that magnanimous... yet.

Thus explains why I'm avoiding to help these days. I must make sure I'm sane and healthy, else I cannot even afford the least help and return.

Again, I must proclaim - the decreasing of ability to help applies to people I'm not so close with. When it comes to my love ones, well they always know my soft-spot...
|Lady| 10:10 AM